Tonight I went out into the city streets to visit the diamonds scattered in the city streets of Portland. To meet the faces of God as seen in the homeless.
I took my daughter, Zoey as I always do. I think the most important gift I can give her isn’t a fancy rich life or a home. I think the greatest gift I can give her is to say with every fiber of my being God is real. Not with my mouth. I do not preach to her. I do not ask her to read a bible. I do not make her participate in church activities. I do require once a week that we go to the city streets of Portland and love and feed the homeless because I firmly believe that my job is to connect her to the truth that she will find God Jesus within her and that she will get the privilege to share the light of love and drink the water from the many of wells of those who are knee deep in the battle of life. They have so much to offer. They have so much to say. Human connection is possibly the greatest gift God ever gave us after the Love he gave us in restoring us to him and to the truth that He is and He will always be alive in us through love, who is Jesus.
Not the Jesus of religion that divides and hates and condemns and says you suck, your wrong let me fix you.
That’s, not my Jesus. My Jesus is light and love and He is alive in me. He sees the beauty in every person I meet. We just sit there and He he shows me their hearts and the beauty. I use to do ministry whatever that is. THen Jesus came and messed it all up thankfully. He walked right into my life in and broke all my levy and let life pour down on me so I could begin to see and He could begin to shine through me. I just look to him. He’s all I know. I have no strength but in Him, I can be strong. I don’t have any of the answers. I don’t have the knowledge, or the scripture training I just carry His heart and I feel the heartbeat of humanity desiring to be connected to life and light and love.
At first, we started handing out food. greeting my friends who got there before me. And then I saw my friend Mariah sitting with a man. He was beautiful.
It was as if He was a long not found yet friend of mine. Brilliant beyond measure. Quarky, deep. He carried the heart of wisdom. He had tasted life and experienced life and He knew the winds of heaven blew. He was free yet bound. Is that even possible? It is. I know nothing.
I really know nothing. I left feeling alive and full and like He God through this man gave me so much. tears roll down as I write this. I can’t even begin to put into words what you will get if you dare to put down your agendas, stop fixing people and just learn to sit and listen. Listen what is that? What does that mean? Does it mean to sit and let them talk while I’m waiting for my agenda?
No No NO this isn’t at all listening. It isn’t even love.
God is using the homeless to teach me how to be. How to listen, how to be humble, how to stand tall, how to believe in God in me. It’s crazy how God can and will use anyone with a heart to be an oracle of light if you are just willing to connect.
This man was by far one of the greatest treasures I’ve yet to meet. I only hope I’ll get the pleasure to meet him again. You could tell he was known, in the streets. He looked at me with this jubilant smile. He was a man of wonder and mystery. A very peculiar person. In another world, we’d be twins. I could see us riding the waves of the universe. Traveling the galaxies together. pointing out all the universe God let us create together as brother and sister. I’ve never met anyone just like me, except last week when I went out into the streets and GOd brought the angel I met, she too was dressed in human skin and looked like a broken woman but she too was a scattered diamond on the city streets of Portland. I want to scream up into the dark of night this moment! I want to shout out to God I don’t understand! What are you saying to me? I have searched my whole life to find people like me, my particular breed of beauty and brilliance and heart, Those who carry an aliveness and who cannot settle who cannot be complacent for to do so would be to feel dead while alive and that is the worst feeling ever. Its worse than dread its just feels like nothing. Nothing is the worst feeling to feel. Pain in comparison is much easier. It may hurt but joy always comes in the morning.
God of the universe are you listening to me? I know we are one, and I know you are leading this journey and I know it is not an accident that for the second week in a row you have to lead me to love those in an upside down world, the forgotten of the world. As I find myself laying down my agenda no longer interested in to save, fix, critic, teach or healing. U have resolved me to my only agenda is to BE and to SEE the beauty and TO LOVE whomever you put in front of me. TO MOVE as you have me. To ONLY SPEAK AFTER I LEARN TO LISTEN and DRINK from the wells of humanity, and the wells of you my God. The nothing I know grows greater every day. I truly am a student in this journey we call life. If you say pray I will pray. If you say prophecy I will speak your words. If healing is your desire of the body I will obey but I hear it is the healing of the human heart you wish you accomplish. I know you can and do blast people with instant healing, You are God I am not.
I fired myself as a minister and just decided to be a human who carries the GOD of anything possible and the God of Love. I cried out to my God and I declared God I am your student and the world is my campus. I need you to set me free so I can be alive to shine, shine you, my God. It is not fair that I alone get to feel this happy. this joyful. How could I feel this good and not bring this goodness to those who deserve to feel this joy this love too?
I served him chicken soup. We had talked so long, they were out so I said you can have mine. He, of course, would not take my food. So I pretended I didn’t want it and then He took it and ate it all up.
I knew He was good. I felt his heart and I told him so. I said you are gentle and meek and so beyond beautiful. You know about physics, and you understand the wisdom of the ages. You have seen the wickedness of man yet still you love. I see the sadness and the wonder and mystery in your eyes. You know that each new breath is as a day, a gift and anew. you know about oneness and God. I told him I feel your heart. You have the heartbeat for humanity like me. You are good. You know life yet we are miles apart in theology if I even have a theology. All I know is my Jesus who is love. He’s all I know. I just look to him. I said I think you know Him too. I said your an empath like me. You feel their pain, its why you drink. To stop feeling their pain.
I feel their pain too. I don’t drink, I go into the heavens with God and he holds me.
He didn’t believe in the name of my Jesus and he knew a lot more about theology than I could ever keep up with. I listened as he taught me. It didn’t matter if I agreed. Does it matter that we agree? I don’t think the agreement is love. I think love honors differences and respects the path and where one another is at on their journey.
One thing that was undeniable. He said I have never met anyone who has ever seen me or could read me like that. You most certainly hear God. He shines all over you. That’s why you’re so happy. You are an oracle of light. tears are falling as He looks gently into my eyes, this man who will tell you Jesus is not God, and He spoke the words of my Jesus.
I do not understand oh God! Undone by the beauty of this man who does not yet know that the voice that flows; through his beautiful heart is, in fact, my Jesus.
This is the problem with religion. Religion takes my Jesus name and dresses death up as life, but it’s a counterfeit a lie and they say This is Jesus but it’s not. Its a counterfeit made like an eradication of hope and an inoculation of delayed death and it leaves you with a scar and a remembrance that says Jesus hurts and Jesus crushes.
I didn’t sell him my Jesus. God holds his time, I just wanted to hold his hand and his heart. He said You know everything is changing for you right? You’re on the edge of something really really really really big. It’s about to burst and you won’t be sad ever again.
This man of prophecy, some might never get to know, You’d never get to see his heart if you knocked on his door with an agenda of fixership. He might growl just to scare you away so He didn’t have to endure such a waste of his moments and breathes. I felt his wounds too. He had walked a life and half. A veteran that served our country. he was educated beyond anyone I’ve known, and I know a lot of PHDs I find it funny that I meet so many brilliant scholars on physics and mathematics in the city streets that we walk by every day and yet society thinks to say get a job at Micky Ds? oops
What does that say about our education or business structure?
His perspective on mankind wasn’t as hopeful as mine. He told me I was very special and that God had shown him that I was a great carrier of light. He said the problem if you ever had one, which you don’t, He knows what I do every failure or so-called problem is an opportunity, we giggled in wonder both seeing the unseen and laughing about it.
He said if there was an awakening to come, it would be for you to see He gave it all to you. It’s inside of you. That there are all kinds of people but you are an oracle of light. You were made to bring love kindness and compassion and light into very dark places. There’s so much you don’t know and there’s so much you have yet to understand. You know to look within. You have no idea the fire that is within you. You have no idea what your life is about to become and you don’t even care because all you care about is being love. You are Gods gift to a very broken world because your heart still beats and God is melted into your soul as one. He even said Look now you have me calling him Christ. Although He corrected himself at that, I knew that was Holy Spirit flowing through him. Don’t argue with me about that either. I know my Father’s voice.
He said Gods been telling you this. You know its time to rise. He has risen you. You are awake. You know the power is within you but He will not interfere unless you ask for the blessings. You only ask for the blessings for everyone around you, But now you get to ask Him for you. That’s how it goes. You do ask for others that’s why you’re here. Your an oracle of light and thas what oracles of light do. You carry him.
He read me like I read him. In the place under the bridge, where the forgotten gather after daylight was no more.
I find my God all over again from a man on a journey just like me. We are miles apart in theology. Our lives as mortals couldn’t be more opposite yet in God together we sat there with the God of the universe as God flowed through us. Beyond what I thought I could know or what He thought He could know.
I left sad to go. I could have sat there all night but I am a mom and well duty leads me to where I am called to be.
God. I do not understand this world. I don’t understand it. It’s upside down. Why do I get a bed and He doesn’t? and why does the rich man in the suit get to use his brain yet this man sit here a learned scholar who filled in so many wholes to my understanding even as we spoke completely different languages? We met in the middle of truth.
I never knew that truth was so powerful when we don’t guide it. Truth in love means so much different than the phrases I learned in church. Let us be always the truth in love. He is writing a book which is part 1 of my book. Lord bless him. Lord, I pray right now that you help him, you are so with him. I honored him so well. I never once corrected him. I didn’t cast out any demons, I didn’t pray for his pains and sicknesses. I humbled myself. I became a student for a teacher hidden in the city streets of Portland. You might not know He was a treasure if you had the eyes of man but if you dared to melt with the one who is and who will always be, you see the scattered diamonds all around you.
Lord bring us together humanity in you. Open the door to humanity teach us how to be humanity again. Teach me, Lord, to be a humble person. Let me learn from those you deem to be my teachers and Lord I ask that you pay them with divine encounters Lord. I ask that you flood them with your presence and a joy so rich that no darkness, no lie, no hold could touch them. Lord I ask you for my brother and sisters and for myself less I think for a second I know more. I ask for open heavens and open opportunities and whatever riches you deem we all need and not a penny less or more than what you think we need God.
God of the universe? You are a most excellent artist. Thank You for delighting me with your masterpieces. I literally have seen barely a drop of your rainbow tears that wait for us to become love and realize we need each other and to be one with you means to be one with another one drop of your majesty. My God, I ask you to tear down the walls that man limits and rates and sections off and squashes the treasures you have scattered in the streets of Portland for our giftings and for their giftings for you God. For us God we are all one in you. Let us slow down. Let us become a people of peculiarity and individualism yet all sewn together as one beautiful masterpiece for your glory as you always intended creation to be.
Lord, I know less than I did this morning. I know so much less. My world is so upside down my GOD. Crying and I don’t know if its tear of joy or tears of sorrow or tears of excitement or tears of wonder or tears of life but one thing I know I pray Lord God my friends in the street Lord Let the strife not be wasted. Let them gain every ruby of wisdom you have for them. Strengthen them and guard them and shower them with your kindness and mercy. Lord, I ask for heaven to fall where ever they are and if it already does my God, My king than forgive me for not knowing or seeing.
Set us all free what we think we know less we miss the beauty of you as seen in the faces of the homeless. Your treasures.You say you are close to the brokenhearted. If we want to know you, we must know them we ARE ONE
Tonight I met a teacher of wisdom and a carrier of knowledge and truth though not fully revealed. Are any of us? God says you cant awaken love before its time. Oh Lord, you hold his time just as you hold mine. Let me be an oracle of light and a carrier of love and let you accomplish your agenda not my own.