Waiting for Green

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I always feel weird when I flow so much and just go w what’s flowing.
I think it’s a soul sensory from literally almost (key word almost) every person I’ve ever met tells me I talk too much.
Or that I ramble and say nothing.
That’s a lie.
After riding a metaphoric long water slide tube of flow through words, I see that I experience the aftertaste of shame trying to sneak in as a late night snack after a great meal.
People who are kind and care come up w tips of how I can improve like they did. Grace and mercy have been love’s bodyguards in my heart to stay in connection so unseen in is perfect brewing of waiting in His oneness as it becomes mine for His glory, not mine and because it’s for him and it’s not for me His laws of order bring it to me.
It’s a beautiful dance of humility.
I’ve been told flowing is imbalance rude and dishonoring of others. That I need to learn to control it but I know the opposite is true. I get to Thank those who truly celebrate me and encourage me reminding my truth. Thank You, Father Jesus and Holy Spirit for always reminding me I’m not the mess or the residual. Thank you for telling me the truth, that the mess and residual are organized chaos, a tool to position me and propel me into my destiny which is to be love.
I must say thank you to those key people God has used in my life to love me well without teaching but being so I could learn from my Papa and belief. You are fuel for life. I must also equally Thank those who followed evils lie and chose to be used by God. How many really really know God’s not in control of everything but He holds all things so in essence. He’s control as we are to be. You see he holds.all things in balance and allows your chaos he permitted to stimulate growth. Thank you for being u
I wouldn’t be here without other of you.
I bless you and I ask God to let Glory Light Fall on u

These days I sail the high seas of glory with God. The water is His love
The whisper in the wind is His voice
The ground That I walk on is the shoulders of the Lion of Judah
With all, I know and that’s a lot
Though most of it I did not earn by reading, studying or perfecting disciplines.
One night w the King changes everything.
I remember 6 months ago.
I told him, God. I need an opportunity.
I told him, God, they say its green till red.
He laughed. He said it can be.
I was so serious
And not thrilled w the lack of serious God had in such a serious matter.
God, I thought, Stop playing around. Don’t you know they are all saying get a job?
God I need to get going I’m almost 50
My daughters 11.
7 years homeless God???
Are you listening? Do you hear me?
I was so angry at God.
I was.
He.said sit in a bathroom in the dark w Jason Upton’s.4 songs playing 24/7 on headphones
He picked and do nothing all day.
No car
No friends
No job
No phone
No home
No business
No ministry
I was like no, That’s not you, God. They are saying go go go
Build, create
The Father responds by opening up the eyes of His heart.
I cried on my face for my world my friends my family my church and my Fathers longing heart for all his children all his creation for 3 weeks.
I heard it said this way, “Do you ever feel like your a screaming toddler and Gods saying take a nap?”
Yep, those were His.words.
Mine were fIve got things to do God. For you. For your people for my daughters for my kids for my grandkids Don’t you see the lack?
Lol
He says red till green
I said, Be quiet devil
God says I’m no devil without a word.
He says to me “If you want to build your own path. It is permissible.”
“You can build great things. Especially using your gifts you’re equipped; you know. Its all there.”
“It’s true”
“Create, create, create”
“Be blessed. My laws, laws of order, work, period, with or without me. What is is and will always be but be Careful you don’t rush into a build a castle that by the nature of things will have to fall.”
“I Am the Lord of understanding; The path to all.”
“Sit and do nothing with me. Why do you think it’s a waste of time?”
Because I’ve got to shift this God, fulfill my potential so I can be.
He laughs again playfully, reaches out his hand and touches my heart.
Then He says, So what do you think is more genetically aligned: going out there and getting it done or sitting here with the one who in a second can give you ideas that will change the world?

3 more months of nothingness and I’m in love. Wrecked.
I know about physics, science, wisdom I didn’t earn or study. 6 months on my face locked in a bathroom sitting in the dark with God. Willing to say, “your ways God ?????”
Even my understanding of surrender I had to surrender.
Read a book. Watch a video. Take a class. Build a bridge. Build a house or an empire, if you will
But before you quantify a value and classify something as good or bad right or wrong. . . I beseech you to ask first, What’s your win?
Mine isn’t anything other than 100 percent Being spirit led
living a life of excellence
Dressed in beauty
Girded in His power
Held with truth and love in perfect peace which is found in his understanding which is only obtained through surrender which results in balance and fruits are the Ephesians more.
I gave up my kingdom. It was a good kingdom. It wasn’t bad at all.
It was a path not good or bad right or wrong.
I’m on a different path now.
Its a path Gods laying down.
It’s a path where I run
He lays the track
He sets the scene
He brings the players
And I love, listen and wait
Knowing He holds the hands of my time and I’m not running out.
He says to run the race set before you.
You get to choose whether you set it before you or He does. He loves you either way.
Red till green isn’t easy.
Being honest
But the person you will find yourself to be when He says green will be one you’ll want to run the race with.
The race you are running is against yourself. He’s out to undo you so He can give you His heart. His power. His understanding. But you can choose to run a race against others and say look at me.
It’s just not Beneficial.
The reason we run a race against ourself is that the only finish line is surrender.
Surrender, seesaw or propelled to victory.
Knowing Jesus

10 Bible Verses

1 Corinthians 9:24
Verse Concepts
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

Galatians 2:2
Verse Concepts
It was because of a revelation that I went up; and I submitted to them the gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but I did so in private to those who were of reputation, for fear that I might be running, or had run, in vain.

Galatians 5:7
Verse Concepts
You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?

Philippians 2:16
Verse Concepts
holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

Philippians 3:14
Verse Concepts
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1
Verse Concepts
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

2 Timothy 4:7
Verse Concepts
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;

2 Timothy 4:8
Verse Concepts
in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me but also to all who have loved His appearing.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; read more.
Hebrews 12:2
Verse Concepts
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

SHIFT

New lenses to see thru?
New mindsets to try on maybe they fit better?

Rules of behavior to control and manipulate “behavior” the fruit”?
Verses, Law of order which governs the universe and how God holds all things in balance?

The trunk of the tree of life stands before you tall like a scale with its branches extended to you to reach out and grab for a reason.

Will you grab a ladder and stretch up high and reach far up to grab the fruit and go make a pie to eat?

Will you grab a ladder and stretch up high and reach far up to grab the fruit and go make a pie to give a friend?

Will you grab a ladder and stretch up high and reach far up to grab the fruit and go make a pie to give one who has no tree?

Will you grab a ladder and stretch up high and reach far up to grab fruit and go make pie and give to a foe?

Or will you sit under the shade of the beautiful tree resting through the heat of the day, listening to the song its leaves sing to you and dream with the clouds and say, Thank You Tree?
And wait for the tree to give u the bushel of apples?
It’s not right/wrong
Good/bad
You or me

What race are u running?
Who’s race are u running?
Run by all means run
But know in order to run you must first be able to sit.
A telltale sign you’re ready to run
You don’t need to run

#Ambition,
#Avoid Being Hindered
#Determination
#Goals
#Grasping
#Heavenly Rewards
#Hindrances are gifts
#Holy Ambition says sit when you want to run
#Life By God’s Word instead of saying it
#Not Giving Up giving up
#Prizes you don’t earn you win
#Quitting isn’t for cowards it’s for leaders
#Reward For Works of rest
#Running the race What is the race?
#Self Discipline is an oxymoron
#The Soul Winners Joy found in the garbage dumps of life
#Useless Labour is really useless

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