Society is Mentally ill Not Me
I have a funny story to share.
God told me He would give me disability 6 years ago as a provision to apply so I did. they said I would get torn apart by the judge but I said to the lawyer no My God said I would walk right in and get it. They said no-no dear.
Of course, that’s exactly what happened.
So this year when I almost lost it, I thought ok its multiplication time YES! Opportunity shall finally come!
But no opportunity came to me, so I knew I was to continue to write, BE and listen. So I have.
I had to go to a review by a shrink to keep my SSI. It didn’t make sense because I get it for autoimmune issues and autism, which cracks me up (autism is what made me lots of cash autism means really, really gifted not mentally ill)
So I was like oh great here we go.
I go in and the guy starts to ask me some questions. I said ok wait we need to pause.
I’m Linda nice to meet you.
First, we must connect. I need to know who you are.
Do you know I told him on paper I look like a nut?
So if you are going to write on paper I am a nut, I need to know you first. You see, I am a woman of faith and you will not be able to chart me. My God is alive in me and He really isn’t chartable. So I figure if we are to do this dance, the God of the universe must be reaching out and talking to you cause He talks to me every day.
So that is where we started. He smiled very unsure of what to say next. I said don’t worry I’m not crazy, your safe with me.So He started off with do you hear voices?
I said oh here we go.
Is that really a fair question?
I mean what do you qualify as voices?
Have you studied the latest neurological studies in natural psychiatry which focus on more of science fact perspective and not the junk science algorithm that modern neurology has dismissed and not true? I am waiting for the science side psychiatry to become so loud the grip on society is loosened and we go from prescribed zombies saturated in pain to free and alive productive people. It will be nice but we need God for that.
So are you referring to a thought? Also, Howard Gardners multi-intelligence states, are you familiar with Howard Gardner’s research on the smarts and multi-intelligence, the ways we learn, process and are all smart differently? His theories talk about sensory being a gift, and that some actually process auditory so Does that constitute a voice?
And then, of course, we are trying to go to the mars to live in another dimension. You would as a scientist, which I assume a psychiatrist is in some sorts, I mean would not be able to argue that if physics says that time and the universe is not one dimensional and we are in fact trying to go colonize in another time and space in another demention, You would agree that to still pretend that sounds and frequencies and light and dark matter don’t exist and that if you hear voices as you call them, it’s really irresponsible to play both sides and tell people they aren’t hearing anything and they are crazy dont you?
This is such a loaded question to really set me up so can you please elaborate what you quantify as voices so I can better answer what you are attempting to ask me?
oh and as far as voices Go, does it count if its God.
I mean everyone knows we can hear God? You know that right? Cause I can’t deny my God or that I hear him. no no I can’t. not even for cash. I do hear God? Does God count?
He told me you’re a nice guy and to be myself which usually can be dangerous in a shrink’s office.
I said, His voice says you know him but His voice is water moving within me, more sensory though it could be audible.
you know him.
He said nothing.
He said next question
I said ok that’s fair. I’m glad were skipping that without clarification cause I can’t lie, I’ve not aligned with lies only truth. Words are very important you know. they aren’t empty pretty poems. they care frequencies and vibrations and open up possibilities of actually tangible matter. Have you seen the icetray experiments or perhaps dived into chromatics of sound? Its fascinating whats packed in one word, oh if we only knew wed watch what we say.
He said well Do you see things that aren’t there? I said are you really asking that question?
I think we covered that with the voices.
WHat quantifies as there or not there. Are you asking me if I agree with Einstein or Plank or Moses or Elijah that there is a seen and an unseen or are you asking me to pretend every scientist and evangelist I ever heard of is crazy and if you can’t see it it’s not there.
ANd when God says He wants to heal someone I see and feel the fire from my hands? Does that count if they get healed? I think that proves something is there even if you cant see it. Even scientist measure results as a factor of truth. I had 5 kids. Before sonograms, I couldn’t see them till they were born, does that mean they weren’t there. They sure cost a lot and ate a lot and made a lot of messes and they aren’t always kind to me. I’m pretty sure they are real. Last time I checked they were but I couldn’t always see them.
What do all these questions have to do with if I can work?
Is it a problem with working because I’m really smart?
Or is it that I’m really gifted?
Why do we have to chart people like cows rating them how much money we can squeeze out of them as their sign of worth?
Here’s the truth, when I was wealthy I had assistants. I bought people to help me. Now I gave away all my money things and cars as God asked me to so I could testify in a trail and help 497 children I will never know. God the one I saw and heard told me there would be a trial and it turns out it, it was God and I wasn’t crazy. You know the God that is misrepresented as a big universal bully, that many say isn’t real there, yes that God, Well He appeared, I don’t know what else to tell you. He is God He can do that. He asked me to help people and so I did only and now I have no money and can’t pay people to be in my life. So I’m stuck.
People tell me everyday Ill pray for you or here’s 5$ and a bag of dried milk? Who eats dried milk anyway? I think they are the ones with the mental problem. I don’t know how they can’t see that they have a mother, father, sister brother friends and God to help them anytime they get a flat tire. Me I have God. I think it’s insane to think that I could rise up my entire life on my own and suddenly be what God himself didn’t subject himself too. DO you think if God had people we need them too or do you think I’m supposed to be above God? I’m not sure why everyone expects me to do more than God did. Religion calls that self-idolatry but I call that stupidity or mental illness. ITs called forget how to be human. it’s our nations sickness and our worlds.
Did you know the animal kingdom takes care of each other? I watch the animals and learn from them. they know God more than most in the church. If I could do it again Id asks GOd to be a lion-like him.
Ok next question
This is a test to test your comprehension.
Oh, brother test.
Why tease? What will this test tell you about me?
WIll you test me; in the way I learn or in the way I process information? I’m a hands-on learner and I’m autistic?
Oh, you have a mental health diagnosis?
Mental health? Since when is being really smart and seeing what others can’t see mentally ill?
WHy is it because I see in motion picture and I feel light move and sound vibrate I’m mentally ill?
That made no sense.
You are a man are you mentally ill because you cant give birth?
That’s illogical, right?
Ya so too is your testing me in your way of thinking, in your way of communicating then rating me for it; but Ok I’ll play the game, I’m humble
Ok here goes the question
What do a rose and a tulip have in common? Oh, that’s so easy. this is fun.
He says ok surprised by my answer.
I say Well the rose reminds me of Jesus He is the rose of Sharon, beauty He is. But the answer to your question is a straightforward one. A rose and a tulip both like everything else in all of the creation grow from the inside out. Like the Fibonacci sequence or everything in outer space and even the shells in the ocean and us humans that’s how we learn and exist from the inside out.
He said okay I think I have all I need.
I said but that was just one question?
That’s a short test?
He said I want you to know I am going to recommend you keep your disability.
I said Did you find me mental or nuts?
He said no not at all
but I have one more question for you
I said ok My word is my bond its above my name like Gods so go ahead I said Id answer and cooperate.
He said Did anyone ever the tell you that you have an uncanny gift of taking any question and turning into an explanation of how the foundation of the universe was created and operates?
Oh I said, that’s not me
that the voice that you asked if I heard.
It sounds like me but it’s not.
and that’s the God you ask if I see that’s not really unseen but well maybe is unseen in a way.
He’s right here with us.
thank You for seeing him and thank you for hearing Him
He thinks you’re great He says.
We shook hands and that is how I endured my psychiatric eval
God says I passed so that’s good enough for me.
I behaved. I never mention demons, time travel, the supernatural. We had a good time. He said He enjoyed meeting me. He smiled and said Oh you’ll keep your disability. It’s your turn. write that book and stay alive
I almost forgot my favorite part.
I told him Look I’m not against what you do here. But I tried your psychiatry. I took all your pills believe your grim reality from an algorithm that looked at the effects of lack of love in a world that ravished my body. I tried their sitting in therapy with other rejected shut out hopeless people who were told to shut up accept you’re a victim or not depending on the style of yuck being sold, and tried to live the prescription of delayed death till your die after a life of torture and it wasn’t for me. So God taught me how to see the unseen and how to hear the unheard. He taught me how to align my Spirit being, my chemical existence, my biological existence, my natural existence, and back to my spiritual existence which comes from him true him and ends with him.
I am alive healthy and full and I’m simply waiting for my world to open up and for the others in my world to see I have more to offer them than an opportunity for them to feel better about themselves by taking pity on me but actually partnering with me and my God to be the Body of Christ. ITs a long wait. Jesus has waited for over 2000 years so He’s waited longer.
It’s sad that I was gifted and championed when I had loads of cash and without it no one visits or invites me over. I think that made God sad not me crazy or broken. It’s the world that’s broken not me. I’m not disabled just disadvantaged cause I have no people in my life. I’m tired of being told society’s losing their human makes me mentally ill. What if I were your daughter? or your wife? Would you still just hit like on Facebook or pray for me? Or would you bring me a blanket and say Hey lets partner with an idea, we can build and Then you can dream too. Or would you just be like the rest of the world and watch me drowned and hand me a sandwich and a 5 dollar bill and go home and eat your feast and call me mentally ill? Who is really mentally ill here? Society’s mentally ill, not me.